Midterm Paper

Jason Kleinman

Professor Simonson

Introduction to Women’s Studies

March 24, 2011

Perceptions Versus Reality

Sex and the City has done a tremendous injustice to its viewers by making them think that the way that the women are portrayed on the show is the way that all women act and are treated in the real world. The way the four main characters carry themselves, talk, treat men, and conduct their sexual lives is not on par with societal norms. While I’m sure that there are women who fit the exaggerated stereotypes created by Sex and the City, average women do not act and are not treated the way Carrie, Miranda, Samantha, and Charlotte are treated. Additionally, the women in Sex and the City say and do things that may shape viewers opinions about women and life in general. The dialogue in Sex and the City is so fluid and convincing, everything said on the show is taken as part of the societal norm. However, a lot of the things that these characters say are unusual to the real world and need to be looked at with a skeptical eye. Sex and the City was revolutionary for it’s time. It created a world that looked and felt like New York City but was really a fantasy world, one where women ruled supreme and societal norms were ignored.

Sex and the city is the epitome of enlightened sexism. Susan Douglass discusses how some women in our generation believe that feminism is finally unnecessary because women have achieved equality with men. Instead of fighting for equal rights, women can now focus on themselves. The women in Sex and the City do exactly this. They are obsessed with the way they look, their sex life, and the ultimate goal of finding a man to settle down with. Many people who watch this show are completely unaware that these ideals are exactly what some feminists had been fighting against for years. During this time of enlightened, sexism Sex and the City truly made it seem like women had completely overcome sexism and were treated equal to men in all respects. Each woman in the show represented a different way in which women were powerful and equal in society. Carrie is a very successful journalist (sex journalist no less) who has exclusive access to high end clubs and lounges, a sex life that she is mostly in control of, and is an independent woman living in New York City. Miranda is a successful lawyer who is extremely tough, driven, and completely in control of her life and her future. She represented women who are just as successful as men in the workplace. Samantha is the wild and crazy woman of the group. She single handedly made it acceptable, in the eyes of the viewer, for women to talk about sex, masturbation, and to have as many sexual partners as they wanted. Charlotte is the ‘prude’ in the group and prides herself on having monogamous relationships in her search for her one true love. Although this character is unlike the aforementioned tough, independent women, Charlotte represents the women who are empowered by being housewives. Her character compliments the other three women nicely in that she is showing viewers that you can still be equal to men and work in the home. Each of the four characters is the most extreme and generally unattainable version of the women they represent. Growing up with a very successful mother, successful older sisters, and watching Sex and the City, I, amongst millions of other viewers, believed that the four characters in Sex in the City were how all girls in society wanted to act and were treated.

As I grew older I began to realize that the way that Sex and the City characterized women was not completely accurate and was different than the way that most women acted and functioned in society. While I understood that women were completely capable of embodying the personalities and achievements of the four women in the show, I also realized that these were four extreme examples and that the fight for equality for women is nowhere near over. Miranda, for example, would most likely not be making as much money as her male colleagues unless she was an exception to the societal norm. She might be treated differently in the office because she is a woman and she might even have to go out of her way in hopes to avoid stereotypes that women face in the workplace. Carrie would most likely be ridiculed and even persecuted for her sex column instead of being celebrated for it. Men would disapprove of it because it is unladylike and graphic while some women would be offended by it because it is enlightened sexism in its purist form. In the show, none of these observations are made. Charlotte, the ultimate housewife, would definitely be seen by some as a ‘gold-digger’ or a failure. People would say she is dependent and unable to fend for herself without a man. Finally, Samantha is an extreme example of a woman who is open about her sexuality. If the show accurately represented societal norms, many men would see her as a slut. Her open discussions about masturbation and sex would be seen as inappropriate and unladylike.

Additionally, the way that these women interact and carry themselves would definitely be met with much more disapproval in the real world than it is in the fantasy city created on the show. Not to say that any of the societal incongruities are acceptable, but they certainly exist. Seeing all of the discrepancies between the way that the characters are portrayed on the show and the way that women are actually treated in the real world indicates that women really might not have come as far as the media portrays. This media portrayal creates misconceptions about sexism and feminism. Sex and the city does more than create fallacies about women and their position in society. Specific scenes and quotes embedded within the show can shape viewers into thinking that something that is inappropriate and frowned upon by modern culture is societally acceptable, when it is not.

In our society, especially for women, monogamy is considered the more socially acceptable way to engage in sexual relations. However, Samantha says things like, “I think I have monogamy. I caught it from you” or “There isn't enough wall space in New York City to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung”. This completely goes against a societal norm and is considered acceptable in the show. It is also considered less acceptable for women to talk about masturbation. While this might be an unfair double standard, it is a fact in our society. This does not stop any of the four women from talking about masturbation and other scandalous things in public. Finally, any kind of sexual scandal within a business or an office is not typically tolerated. However, in Sex and the City, Samantha can get away with saying, “The bad news is you’re fired, the good news is now I can fuck you”, to her male intern. All of these quotes and examples are inserted into the show so nonchalantly and normally that the viewer is tricked into believing that the world created in the show represents reality.

Sex and the City revolutionized television and the way that women are viewed in society. Unfortunately, the perception created by this show is not at all accurate to how women actually act and are treated in society. Sex and the City is essentially a dream world, set in an existing city, where women are the alpha and anything they say and do is considered acceptable in society. While this is a tactic that was widely used when Sex and the City aired, called enlightened sexism, it was and is incongruent with the way that society actually works. It starts with the personalities, actions, and situations that the four main women find themselves in and is further perpetuated with the conversations that these women have so casually in every episode. While this show revolutionized television and transformed many peoples perception of the empowerment of women, it is completely misleading and inconsistent with societal norms.